We Should Consider Our Canine Friends Before Exploding Another Fireworks Factory

After shocking footage of a fireworks factory exploding in a place called Beirut, I was shocked. Absolutely horrified. Disgusted. It’s an outrage. It seems these days people just want to antagonize the mental well-being of our neighborhood dogs.

I’m a lifelong dog dad. I have two lovely pit bulls (yes, they’re rescues). I don’t know what I’d do without them. Sure, I saved them (again, rescues), but in a way… they saved me. And I’ll be danged if I’m going to let them experience more trauma just because some hooligans want to explode a fireworks factory.

Now, I live in Lordstown, Ohio. It’s a great place to live. You MUST try Pizza Joe’s. Best pizza on earth (and I always spring for Dip-N-Stix if it’s a cheat day lol). I can’t say I’ve been to Beirut. I can’t even say I know where Beirut is. But when I heard that fireworks factory exploded leaving at least 135 dead and over 4,000 injured, my suspicions were confirmed: we, as a society, no longer show any decency or respect towards our furry friend the dog.

I understand that our canine friends don’t pay taxes. I understand that most people think they “don’t have any value” because they “don’t hold jobs”. But, call me crazy, I think they still deserve some consideration before we go off exploding fireworks factories. If that happened around here my heckin doggos would be up all night, and I won’t stand for that.

Since my dogs are rescues, I have no idea what they went through before I saved them. I’m trying to give them a quiet home where they won’t have to worry about fireworks factories exploding into all hours of the night. But now I’m not so sure I can promise her that.

I get it! I really do! There’s no better way to exercise your freedom and to show pride for your country than exploding a fireworks factory. I’d be lying if I didn’t spend my salad days exploding the odd fireworks factory or two. But I now understand how things like that can have an effect on our friendly neighborhood dogs.

Once I figure out change.org, I want to start a petition to ban exploding Fireworks Factories between the hours of 11pm and 10am. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who cares for their pupper’s well-being.

Oh! And Veterans. Veterans, too.




Detroit based comedy performer and writer. CEO at My Own Boss.

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Alex Bergmans

Alex Bergmans

Detroit based comedy performer and writer. CEO at My Own Boss.

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